my goodness!
So it seems like, now that we've had a baby, it has suddenly becomes the perfect stranger's RIGHT to detain us at the grocery store, in the hallway of our apartment, at the mall, in order to assure us that our baby is beautiful. As if we were doubting it. Or because our child is still a small infant, and therefore is not likely to protest, it is okay to invade her personal space, even though you hardly know her parents.
The first instance was when Paul's office wanted us to bring our baby in so that they could meet and greet our new little one. Because they had thrown us a very lavish baby shower (without even knowing me) we felt pretty obligated to "do the right thing" and bring Gabby in for a show-and-tell. Well, let me tell ya... that was one of the most frustrating experiences I've ever had.
We had left her in her stroller, securely bundled intentionally (it was cool in the building), so that she wouldn't be as exposed to people wanting to touch her. It's flu season, and people kept touching her hands, her face, her hair... She was only about 4 weeks old. At one point, we were surrounded by well-wishers, and a woman rushed up to us, didn't even say hi to Paul or to me, and started to undo Gabby's car-seat and shaking her hand saying "wake up, honey, wake up!" I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THIS WOMAN!!! I was so shocked that I didn't know how to react, and so didn't, but fortunately an older woman said to this amazingly obnoxious woman "Did you like it when people did that to your babies?!?" -- this socially impaired woman's response was "no, I didn't", but she continued shaking Gabby's hand for another minute or two before skulking away, still without saying a word to either of us, the parents!
Several people asked us if we were planning on bringing our Claire-bear back again for another visit, and I just felt like yelling "ARE YOU KIDDING?!?"... but instead I smiled politely and said "perhaps".
After that, I've become much more assertive in telling people that they need to wash their hands before they approach my baby, but there is still always the odd person who thinks that social boundaries can be ignored in the presence of an infant.
Today at the grocery store, Paul and I were at the checkout with Gabby in tow, and the clerk wanted all of the details of her existence, eventually coming AROUND the counter to peer into her carseat. For all I knew, this was going to be a repeat of our experience at Paul's office! I wasn't rude, but I also wasn't trying to be encouraging at all, just answering with single-word responses. I don't know this person, and honestly, we're ready to leave the store and get on with our evening. I know it's a silly thing to be bugged about, because really, the clerk didn't touch her, but it just bothers me that complete strangers can't just say "congratulations" and leave well enough alone.
Have any of you other mommies experienced this??? Am I just being silly?
I think everyone is more cautious with their first child. Having said that-you're the only one that can protect little Gabby and the one that will have to deal with her if she gets sick. I tend to be a little TOO cavalier with Caitlyn as whomever wants her at church pretty much gets her. But at least they know me. Random people at Joe's work wouldn't have had the priviledge of holding her either!
ReplyDeleteHahaha, that sounds so much like one of my rants when Josh was a newborn! It's definitely different with your second. Just know that as aggravated as you feel, every other mother has felt the very same way at some point. Hang in there, I'm eagerly awaiting a post from you ranting about unsolicited parenting advise - it's the next stage!
ReplyDeleteNo, you're not being silly at all! I TOTALLY understand! I feel the exact same way! Trust me, it only gets worse as they get older too, though I just had a thought that when they are even older and throwing a fit in the store and your getting those "you're a bad parent" looks, we'll wish for the invasive people again when they all thought our kids were cute! ha ha
ReplyDeletenope your not silly. And yep. had that happen lots.
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